May 29, 2024

The Scoop India

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Are men really suffering in the world?

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When I logged in to Twitter in the morning, I saw that the trend is going on on Twitter, it was a bit strange after reading “Man is insecure” that who is insecure of the man who is making his authority over the whole world? Has any other creature come to earth who are tyrannizing only men except women? When I saw the trend, it came to know that just as the whole world celebrates Women’s Day loudly, in the same way some people celebrate Men’s Day today.

Even if you feel that India is a male dominated country and keeping women in mind here it is necessary to celebrate women’s day. But believe me, men are no less poor. Men also have their own problems that they have to deal with. If you’re not sure, some stats might help draw your attention to it. 76 percent of suicides are committed by men, 85 percent of homeless people are men, 70 percent of murders are of men, 40 percent of the victims of domestic violence are also men. So if women and men are to be kept on the scale of equality, then it is necessary to celebrate men’s day along with women’s day. Due to all these reasons, Men’s Day is also celebrated.

It is often seen that domestic disputes are exaggerated and made a crime. In many cases, a quarrel with a neighbor starts over a drain and eventually turns into a rape case. So in many cases it was also seen that when a person had gone to ask for his borrowed money, he was implicated in a heinous crime like rape. Apart from this, false cases are made to grab money and property, to extract enmity and to harass. Court cases are full of cases. Many women keep threatening to die themselves and implicate the husband and his entire family in false cases. Many cases like dowry, assault, molestation, rape have been proved false in the courts.

According to a report, between April 2013 and July 2014, 2,753 rape cases were registered in Delhi alone. Of these, 1,464 cases were found to be false. Clearly there is no dearth of women who do not shy away from accusing them of rape for any of their purposes. Apart from this, a total of 91528 men had committed suicide in the year 2015, out of which the reason for the suicide of 24043 men was family issues. But in these, 2497 men took their lives due to discord in married life or with wife. It is often understood that men are powerful. They cannot be exploited. A woman cannot be cruel to them. But this is not the case everywhere, in many cases even men were subjected to mental atrocities.

Some time ago, the girlfriend of Kevin (name changed) living in Germany told that her old partner had beaten her and it made her very sad. Kevin’s heart melted after hearing this sad story. He is determined to prove to his girlfriend that not all men are violent like that. But it took six years for Kevin to learn that it was just a story designed to win their trust.

Emotional dependence becomes a weapon of violence

Kevin is a young man of good stature and strong physical build. Many would find it difficult to even consider her a victim of domestic violence. When Kevin and his girlfriend started living together, he began to take care of her emotionally and financially. Later on, both of them became so dependent on each other that they started sharing all their daily work and even bank accounts. Both were almost completely dependent on each other. Then things started going bad.

Kevin says, “We went on a vacation once. We had booked a room in a hotel but when my girlfriend didn’t like the room, she refused to pay her bill.” Apart from this, his girlfriend pressured him to go to the hotel manager and tell him that his hotel is very poor. Kevin explains, “I refused to do so, I left and left it to her.”

He further explains that when his girlfriend came in the car, he threw countless slaps on her face and started screaming at her. After this incident, the girl also gave an explanation for her behavior that she had a very bad childhood and she never got love or protection. Even after this, often all his efforts were not enough and in response he had to face beatings at the hands of his girlfriend. Then such a situation also came that Kevin had to be hospitalized in the emergency due to his broken bones and injuries. Even on this, Kevin never tried to save himself nor raised his hand on his girlfriend in return. Whom he can meet and whom he cannot meet, it will also be decided by his girlfriend. The family members who had any doubts about their relationship would get away from him. For many years he kept thinking that one day he himself would understand his mistake but that day did not come.

Are men in danger?

A similar story to what happened to Kevin was told in a complaint filed with the police by some 26,000 men from Germany within a year. Official figures from Germany show that about 20 percent of victims of domestic violence in the country are men.

Often our society does not take long to consider men as criminals, but it has great difficulty in considering them as victims. Many a times men do not come forward for fear of embarrassment and ridicule, continue to face violence and are shy to ask for help. The way it is viewed in society affects men who are victims of domestic violence, and such victims “produce many long-term mental and physical problems as a result of violence.” One study shows that there are almost equal number of women and men who have suffered violence at the hands of their partners at some point of time in life. However, cases of serious violence are slightly less among men than women.

Another such story is that of Vineet (name changed), Vineet also found a woman who told her that she was tortured by her husband and the lover whom she wants to marry is now mentally harassing her. Vineet too fell victim to a similar emotional fraud. He gave some work from home to the woman through his office to help her in her livelihood. He also started helping her mentally. As some time passed, the woman whom she was about to marry would tell tales of her daily harassment and deceit. Vineet started advising her to stay away from him. On this the woman got furious and started threatening Vineet, that too to come to his office and beat him up. Sometimes threatening to call her boss and sometimes to ruin her. Vineet started making distance out of fear. He also stopped giving work through his office. But the woman now started threatening him from other people. Vineet, living a dignified life in his office, started getting scared. He even started taking medicine to deal with an unknown fear. Vineet tells that due to fear, he even tried to commit suicide several times. Vineet then met several psychiatrists where doctors told him that he was a victim of emotional deceit, the woman was taking advantage of him emotionally. After this Vineet slowly came out of all this.

Statistics show that this does not happen in any one country, such tales are heard in many countries. Most of the countries do not have good support system for the victims, in the last few years such complaints have increased in India too, in which men have been victims of domestic violence. Men feel sorry for the fact that neither society accepts such complaints quickly nor they are dealt with seriously. Many men troubled by domestic violence take steps like suicide. There are strict laws for women in India like the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2015, sometimes there are reports of abuse. But men who have been victims of domestic violence have been complaining that the country does not have adequate legal and social structures for them.

Even though in Hindi films it is said that “mard ko dard nahi hota” but it is not so. Because we have never tried to know. And perhaps the mistake that men made at one time, by not paying attention to the problems of women, we are doing the same thing today by not paying attention to the problems of men. Well all these things prove one thing that men are oppressed and men also feel pain. And the victims of atrocities are not only women but also men. We celebrate Women’s Day every year on 10th March to honor women. But do you know when Men’s Day is celebrated? Men’s Day is celebrated every year on 19th November, about which most of us do not even know. I wouldn’t even have known if I hadn’t seen the trend on Twitter this morning that men are insecure.

BY Rajeev Choudhary Author  Blogger Youtubers

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